Kirsty Cass was sick of being a man and decided to take a Stanley knife to his own penis after life as a man became utterly unbearable. Luckily, doctors were able to save the transsexual female’s life, but had to reconnect the penis in order to do so. Now Ms. Cass is preparing for gender-reassignment surgery and will have it done by a certified doctor with real surgical tools.

Council worker Kirsty, who used to be called Andy, said: “I realise now how dangerous it was to try to give myself a DIY sex change – I could have easily bled to death – but it seemed like the obvious solution at the time.

“I had a few beers, looked down and thought ‘that shouldn’t be there’ so I got a Stanley knife out of my toolbox and just started hacking away.

“The pain was unbelievable. It took a couple of minutes of cutting before I realised the danger then I grabbed a hankie to stem the bleeding and dialled 999.”

I love that AFTER hacking at her own dick, she realized how dangerous that was. I mean, I realize how dangerous that is and I don’t even have one! I also am aware that if it was that easy, many people who wanted gender reassignment would just go ahead and take it off themselves.

She woke up in the hospital and doctor’s explained to her that the penis had to be reattached in order to perform gender reassignment in the future. Because she seemed a bit psychotic, she was then referred to a psychologist who diagnosed her with gender dysphoria. Duh.

The father-of-two, supported by daughter Jodie, 21, now takes a cocktail of drugs to suppress male hormones and had surgery on his Adam’s apple to alter the pitch of his voice.

The 49-year-old from Crawley, West Sussex, now lives as a woman and is looking forward to surgery in April after a lifetime of feeling trapped in the wrong body.

Kirsty said: “I always felt uncomfortable as a boy. In my teenage years, I wasn’t interested in girls but I went out with a few girls to try to fit in.

“I married a wonderful lady who was supportive when I confessed I wanted to dress as a woman, but our relationship ended when I realised I wanted to be a woman.

“One night I just thought enough is enough, and decided to do something.

“Now I can’t wait until I’ve had the operation and I’m 100% woman.”

Well, lucky you. I guess this goes to show when you have a big enough temper tantrum about having a dick, someone is bound to help you get it removed. Maybe I should attempt to perform my own breast augmentation so people realize how badly I want one.

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• Cross-dressing dad tried DIY sex change with a Stanley knife (mirror.co.uk)
• Single Tranny Files: Desperate For A “Change” Andy Kirsty Tried Chopping His Her Equipment Off With A Box Cutter (bossip.com)
• Life of Agony’s Keith Caputo to Undergo Gender Reassignment Surgery (noisecreep.com)