Tag Archives: comedy
I love everyone in this video!
Filmed by Kenny Noddin
Ryne Anderson, 19, is a typical male teenager from North Dakota. In fact, he’s like every other damn teenage boy I have come across, and unfortunately, had a dumb enough ex-girlfriend to get himself into some legal trouble.
Anderson is pleading guilty to a felony terrorizing charge as well as a misdemeanor sexual assault count, due to the claims his ex-girlfriend has made. Apparently he tricked this 17-year-old girl into sucking his dick and having sex with him because drug dealers demanded that this took place. Yep, that’s right.
The pair’s lives would be endangered, Anderson told the teenager, unless “certain demands weren’t met within a specific timeframe.” Some of the purported demands made by the drug dealers “were sexual in nature,” according to a police report. Anderson told the victim that if “she didn’t go through with these demands that people would be hurt or even killed, including her and her family.”
While being 17 means you’re still not that mature, you should still be aware that this is absolutely absurd! I mean, come the fuck on. If there were drug dealers after your boyfriend honey, they wouldn’t be asking him to get his dong sucked and fucked. Rather, they’d be beating the shit out of your man while making him watch THEM being sexual with you. Have you ever met a generous drug dealer that wants the people they’re trying to blackmail to get laid? No. If you believed this bullshit, YOU deserve to go to jail for a lack of common sense.
Personally, I think this little whore’s parents found out that she had sex and while the story may be true about him lying to get into her pants…she wanted it. She knew it was a lame excuse, but she was 17, not 12, and she wanted to enjoy herself. Unfortunately, this young man is now being charged for lying to get into her pants, which is what every other teen guy I know has done…at least twice in their lives.
For more information on this average teen couple’s sexcapades, VISIT HERE
- Victims of notorious downtown drug dealer urged to come forward (theprovince.com)
Well, actually, Juan Aquirre is accused of pilfering six empty DVD cases. The 21-year-old apparently was unaware that the cases he pinched were for display, and devoid of the corresponding discs. Aquirre is pictured in the above mug shot.
According to the Salina Police Department, Aquirre early yesterday shattered the front door glass at Cirilla’s, causing $500 in damages. During a canvass of the area after the break-in, cops questioned Aquirre, who was spotted riding a bicycle in the vicinity of the sex shop.
A search of the suspect’s backpack turned up the DVD cases and a sledgehammer head that was attached to a rope. In a sad epilogue to the burglary, investigators valued the recovered DVD cases at only $5 apiece, according to a Salina Police Department report.
This guy literally went out and spent a shit ton of money and got jail time in return. If you’re going to actually put forth effort into breaking into a store, you should most definitely check and see if you got what you had come for! Didn’t the DVD cases feel light, dumb ass? And you only stole 6 DVD’s?! I’d be damn sure that I had enough room to grab way more movies, maybe some lube, and at least some free condoms that taste like grape or raspberry or something! You deserved to get caught, lingering around the scene with the “stolen goods”, weapon to break in, and lack of brains.
- Man Charged With Breaking Into Sex Shop, Having Sex With Inflatable Doll (thedaleygator.wordpress.com)
- Sex shop slammed for teaching children bad things (rt.com)
A young boy in kindergarten is the youngster who unknowingly got his mother, Michelle Marie Cheatham, 32, arrested for drug use. Cheatham was charged with possession of a controlled substance and one count of first-degree child endangerment after her young son decided it would be a great idea to show his class his mother’s drug paraphernalia.
Sweet Springs Elementary School in Missouri probably never expected to have to deal with something like this. In fact, he didn’t just bring in his mother’s personal supply of methamphetamine, he brought in baggies totaling a value of $3,700. This bitch was selling drugs and got ratted on by her own son who probably can’t even read yet.
When I called the prosecutor about it, they said, “You’re kidding me, aren’t you?”‘ said Police Chief Richard Downing.
According to reports, Cheatham’s life went off the rails after her husband died earlier this year in a car crash.
This kid probably just wanted a way out and knew what he was doing. He took his mother’s drugs, gained sympathy from his school, and now doesn’t have to deal with his mother who obviously had some issues. Yes, her husband had died and that must have been awful. Sadly, that’s no excuse because plenty of people have deceased relatives and don’t leave $3,700 worth of crack easily accessible by their elementary school children.
- Mom Arrested After Son Takes Her Drugs, Meth Pipe To Show And Tell (dreamindemon.com)
A 36-year-old woman got so frustrated on August 23rd, 2011 after being told she needed to be searched, that she completely undressed. Seriously, this bitch just got fully naked right in the main area where everyone could see everything. According to her lawyer, Charles Richardson, she made “an impetuous decision” and was doing this because she was fed up with being strip-searched every time his client came through customs.
Loukai Phillips has plead guilty of indecent exposure due to the fact that she was in the middle of a goddamn airport. Seriously, I can’t get over that she was standing naked in an airport with all those damn people. Then to be arrested on top of that. Bravest bitch ever.
On top of this she’s now facing a fine because there were children present AND she was cursing repeatedly while removing her clothing. This is fucking amazing. And to top it off, she doesn’t seem to be that displeased with her decision.
Phillips, a Bermudian who returned to the Island to close down her bank account, told airport police: “I would never do it again, I’m just tired of being searched.”
Bravo Phillips! This classy broad was heard yelling, “If you want to see me naked, you can do it right f***ing here.” That’s right officers, and see, she follows through on her promises. Unfortunately so do they, they need to search and tell you they will do so. Their suggestion to Phillips was simple, “If you don’t want to be searched, don’t come through Customs.”
The only way this could be better? A video of this bitch freaking out and getting naked in front of a damn audience.
An 8-year-old girl was arrested for punching the vice principal in the chest at her school in Ewa Beach, Hawaii, police said.
Police said the girl punched the 61-year-old man about 8.15am on Wednesday, causing pain.
The girl was arrested for investigation of second-degree assault.
Charlie Sheen explains his “odyssey” to Matt Lauer and reveals that he is now “sane”. I am sorry, but you were really pitching your ideas during your fucking “odyssey” so I don’t know why you’re pussing out and downplaying the whole ordeal.
In advance of Monday’s Comedy Central roast, Charlie Sheen steered his latest promotional media tour onto The Today Show with Matt Lauer this morning. But something wasn’t right. This wasn’t The Charlie Sheen we’re used to.
“You seem…” Lauer started, clearly perplexed, unsure how to proceed. “Sane?” Sheen offered.
And that was it. Charlie Sheen is suddenly sane—meaning that he reflects on his recent episode (Lauer calls it a “chapter”—Sheen prefers “odyssey”) as the rest of us do: as batshit crazy.
Apparently, he’s seem to forgotten that he has “tiger blood” flowing through his veins and was a “total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.” The man has clearly lost his drive.
“I feel that that was just one crazy chapter, one weird phase, and that I was this guy before it started and I can be that guy again afterwards, you know.”
No shit Sherlock! Everyone was trying to explain this to you, but you were too busy out screwing goddess’ and bitching about Chuck Lorre to even give a shit. All you have to do is stop being a damn drug addict (even though you seemed rather pleased with your accomplishments) and start making sense to anyone other than yourself or porn star whores.
Asked what he would you have done differently about the last year, he says, “Just the tiger blood, adonis DNA, stuff like that—it was so silly, and people took it so seriously. I figured, I’ll give people what they want.”
Oh shut the fuck up! I know you’re a good actor Mr. Sheen, but there is no way that you went that fucking crazy just for fun and to give people what they wanted. First of all, we did NOT want that. You were fucking scary. Granted it was definitely entertaining and gave the world a new face to mock, but I would have never wanted to encounter you in public. Shit, according to you, your DNA was something out of this world, and I presume ‘tiger blood’ meant you were pretty damn ferocious. Thankfully, with your new found sanity, I’m assuming your DNA has been restored with humanity and your blood no longer quite so intimidating.
All I can say is I can’t wait to see this roast on Comedy Central.
LARGO – A Largo man’s late night craving and demand for tacos landed him in the Pinellas County jail for misuse of a 911 system.
Bay News 9 obtained the 911 call through a public records request:
911: “Largo emergency.”
Kimbell: “It’s not an emergency. However, can you — can you put me through to dispatch? I’m at the Taco Bell, and I walked in, and I left my car on purpose, so I wouldn’t drink and drive. I walked up, they wouldn’t serve me. So, I’m at the Taco Bell at 137th and Walsingham and I just want some tacos. That’s it.”
Kimbell tells the dispatcher he has the munchies. He’d been drinking alcohol, according to the police report.
911: “What are the employees saying?”
Kimbell: “You can’t walk up, you’ve got to drive up. You got a get a DUI to get a taco. I got the munchies and I walked a quarter mile from here. Are you going to help me out or do I have to get arrested to get home? You know what I’m saying?”
911: “Well, we’re not going to take you home.”
Kimbell: “I want you to call the manager at the Taco Bell.”
Kimbell stayed on the phone the for about 11 minutes with dispatch until a police officer arrived and arrested him for misuse of a 911 system.
Kimbell makes a good point. Here in Hollywood we’re lucky enough to have walk-ups at some fast food chains, but here, there is no option at late hours, other than drive thru’s. If you can’t drive thru due to being intoxicated, what the hell are your options? Sadly, he’s now sitting in jail and will most likely not be provided any tacos. Poor guy.
On Monday In Hollywood, CA, Spongebob and two women were arrested for brawling in the streets. No one is very clear on what led to the fight, but Mr. Spongebob has gained a reputation here on Hollywood Boulevard. According to many people the man who lives in a pineapple under the sea, has also been know to be overly aggressive with requesting payment as well as a little too flirtatious.
The two women who were involved, both sported pink hair and seemed to be enjoying the fight with the big yellow sponge. This incident led to quite a scene in the busy tourist area and required many officers to arrive on scene.
After questioning Spongebob, police have let him go without an arrest. Whether the two women have been arrested still remains unclear. Check out the photos and video below: