Tag Archives: comedy
Two women were arrested in a Maryland Wal-Mart shortly after a bleach fight broke out. Theresa Monique Jefferson, 33, and another woman caused an evacuation of the store that lasted about 2 hours after each through bleach and another chemical onto one another.
Not only were these two women the victims of the fight, but 19 other people were taken to the hospital. Luckily, only one was being treated for serious injuries.
The alleged fight took place in the Lansdowne Station shopping centre in Baltimore.
According to the Baltimore Sun, the argument between Jefferson and the other woman went back before the store fight.
The paper reported Jefferson has a child with the victim’s boyfriend.
Speaking to the New York Daily News, a spokesman for Walmart said: ‘This is obviously not the type of behaviour that we would expect from people at our stores.
Obviously this spokesman is unaware of some of the individuals that tend to shop in their stores. I mean, I am not very shocked that these women were involved in a fight like this. I am not implying that all Wal-Mart shoppers act this childishly, but they don’t draw the most classy characters, that’s for sure.
The reason this chemical fight was so serious is because they also were throwing ammonia and when those two substances are mixed, they produce toxic fumes. Bitches were chemists and they had no idea.
Man Gets DUI IN Drive-Thru After Handing Over Taco As Proof Of Identification And Before Catching His Truck On Fire
Seriously? That may possibly be the longest title ever, but I sincerely believe that all of that needed to be included to show you how absolutely ridiculous this story is. I’m extremely tire and would like to go to bed, but feel I should probably discuss the man who may have had the most amazing arrest and DUI of all time.
Matthew Falkner, 30, should have had enough common sense to know that when you hand over a taco and the police are expecting you ID, they’re going to be fully aware of how fucking drunk you are. I don’t even know how the hell you made sense of that, even while wasted… and I have been extremely fucking hammered.
Unfortunately Falkner happened to pass out in a public place, the Jensen Beach Taco Bell and then while he was blacked out, in his car, sitting in a drive thru, completely wasted…his car caught on fire. Seriously.
The greatest part is it was this dumb asses FOURTH meal after downing some beers. The manager had to call the police shortly after giving Falkner his taco because he was holding up customers behind him while snoozing, taco in hand.
A deputy awoke Falkner and then asked for his ID. Falkner said no before reaching into his bag and presenting the officer with a taco. Another deputy clarified they were asking for an ID, not a taco. Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco.
Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.
Falkner’s blood alcohol content was between .227 and .225, according to a breath test. That’s three times the legal limit. He was hauled off to jail on DUI charges.
Thank goodness he at least got to enjoy his taco before going to jail and eating those nasty ass bologna with dry ass bread and cheap cheese. I spent one night in jail and was so hungry. Luckily Mr. Falkner had 4 meals before his little vacay with awful catering.
- DUI suspect tries to flee ()
- Dillsburg man charged with DUI following crash into Upper Allen Township house (pennlive.com)
- Top 25 Biggest Criminals in NFL History (bleacherreport.com)
- DUI arrests in one state are all about the bottle. The pill bottle. (homedrugtestkit.wordpress.com)
A young 18-year-old teenager, Christopher Johnson, wanted to meet his date at a McDonald’s in Sacramento. Only problem was he had his 5-month-old daughter in his car, and didn’t want to bring her in to join him at the child-friendly fast food restaurant.
Instead, Johnson decided to leave his baby girl in the car, parked a good distance from the restaurant. She was locked inside and the car was very hot. Another man who just happened to be passing by noticed the little girl and alerted authorities.
After the police arrived and broke the girl out of the dumb shit’s car (rather, her father’s car) they said she was sweating profusely and was obviously distressed.
Police arrested Johnson at the scene when he returned to the car with a friend. He is likely to face serious charges of child neglect.
His daughter was taken into protective custody.
Police said she had recovered from her ordeal. It is unclear where her mother was at the time of the incident.
- Dad leaves baby in car while eating lunch, police say (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
- Worst Date Ever: Man Leaves His Baby Girl in the Car While He Treats His Date to McDonald’s (laist.com)
- What a Kroc! 10 Things You Didn’t Know About McDonald’s [PLUS 49 WTF PHOTOS] (coedmagazine.com)