Tag Archives: comedy
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. (AP) — Pot-laced brownies served at a Southern California funeral sent three people to the emergency room over the weekend, Huntington Beach police said.
Two 71-year-old women and an 82-year-old man were taken to a hospital emergency room Saturday following a friend’s memorial service, where a tray of pot brownies was offered. They complained of nausea, dizziness and an inability to stand without assistance.
The three, residents of Huntington Beach and Newport Beach, didn’t know the marijuana-laced sweets were being offered in memory of their friend, who ate marijuana brownies. Police say the baked goods were put out without any announcement about what was in them.
Huntington Beach does not permit licensed medical marijuana dispensaries in the city limits. Federal authorities announced Friday they plan to crack down on marijuana sales and growing operations throughout the state.
What does heaven look like? To a 46-year-old Deerfield man, it looks like a free beer truck.
The man apparently stumbled across a refrigerated beer trailer Tuesday used by the Schwaben Verein German heritage club and Grove Banquets in Buffalo Grove.
The trailer houses kegs connected to taps on the outside. Realizing he had nearly unlimited access cold beer, the man grabbed a nearby pitcher and began drinking.
At noon, staff at the banquet hall found him and called police. When police showed up, they found the man extremely intoxicated and called an ambulance, Buffalo Grove Deputy Chief Steve Husak said.
Before being sent to Northwest Community Hospital, he told police he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. He thought he had died and gone to heaven – a free beer truck, Husak said.
The man was not charged with public intoxication, nor did the Schwaben club press charges for theft.
Well done. I can honestly say that I would have done the same fucking thing. I mean, beer has become something of a commodity. The average American doesn’t have a job, or much less, a job that would afford them some delicious beer. So what do you do? Take from the truck that has too much. Thank God he was able to get completely fucking wasted before cops arrived. Now I can rest easy knowing he had a great time in jail.
So, what do you think? Would you rather kill the fetus knowing the outcome of its sexuality? Or is it still a ‘life’ and worth fighting to save? And if you fight for the right for it to be born, I think you owe it to them to fight for their rights after birth. Ultimately, it was you who brought this gay child into the world and have opened them up to ridicule, bullying, and the denial of their equal rights. What do you think?
- Jon Hoadley: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (At Work, Anyway) (huffingtonpost.com)
- Dealing with gay students, bullying in very different ways (cnn.com)
- Pro-Life Or Pro-Choice? (wherethecowsmoo.wordpress.com)
Two women were arrested in a Maryland Wal-Mart shortly after a bleach fight broke out. Theresa Monique Jefferson, 33, and another woman caused an evacuation of the store that lasted about 2 hours after each through bleach and another chemical onto one another.
Not only were these two women the victims of the fight, but 19 other people were taken to the hospital. Luckily, only one was being treated for serious injuries.
The alleged fight took place in the Lansdowne Station shopping centre in Baltimore.
According to the Baltimore Sun, the argument between Jefferson and the other woman went back before the store fight.
The paper reported Jefferson has a child with the victim’s boyfriend.
Speaking to the New York Daily News, a spokesman for Walmart said: ‘This is obviously not the type of behaviour that we would expect from people at our stores.
Obviously this spokesman is unaware of some of the individuals that tend to shop in their stores. I mean, I am not very shocked that these women were involved in a fight like this. I am not implying that all Wal-Mart shoppers act this childishly, but they don’t draw the most classy characters, that’s for sure.
The reason this chemical fight was so serious is because they also were throwing ammonia and when those two substances are mixed, they produce toxic fumes. Bitches were chemists and they had no idea.
Man Gets DUI IN Drive-Thru After Handing Over Taco As Proof Of Identification And Before Catching His Truck On Fire
Seriously? That may possibly be the longest title ever, but I sincerely believe that all of that needed to be included to show you how absolutely ridiculous this story is. I’m extremely tire and would like to go to bed, but feel I should probably discuss the man who may have had the most amazing arrest and DUI of all time.
Matthew Falkner, 30, should have had enough common sense to know that when you hand over a taco and the police are expecting you ID, they’re going to be fully aware of how fucking drunk you are. I don’t even know how the hell you made sense of that, even while wasted… and I have been extremely fucking hammered.
Unfortunately Falkner happened to pass out in a public place, the Jensen Beach Taco Bell and then while he was blacked out, in his car, sitting in a drive thru, completely wasted…his car caught on fire. Seriously.
The greatest part is it was this dumb asses FOURTH meal after downing some beers. The manager had to call the police shortly after giving Falkner his taco because he was holding up customers behind him while snoozing, taco in hand.
A deputy awoke Falkner and then asked for his ID. Falkner said no before reaching into his bag and presenting the officer with a taco. Another deputy clarified they were asking for an ID, not a taco. Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco.
Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.
Falkner’s blood alcohol content was between .227 and .225, according to a breath test. That’s three times the legal limit. He was hauled off to jail on DUI charges.
Thank goodness he at least got to enjoy his taco before going to jail and eating those nasty ass bologna with dry ass bread and cheap cheese. I spent one night in jail and was so hungry. Luckily Mr. Falkner had 4 meals before his little vacay with awful catering.
- DUI suspect tries to flee ()
- Dillsburg man charged with DUI following crash into Upper Allen Township house (pennlive.com)
- Top 25 Biggest Criminals in NFL History (bleacherreport.com)
- DUI arrests in one state are all about the bottle. The pill bottle. (homedrugtestkit.wordpress.com)