Category Archives: Humor
Benjamin Todd Duddles, 41, apparently could not handle the train-like snoring of his sleeping partner, early on Sunday morning. Duddles said that the unnamed woman (hence, one night stand) was ’now snoring like a train and (he) wants her out’.
The cops then came to this man’s home. I don’t understand how it went further than the phone call, but apparently, it did. When the police arrived, Duddles told them that the two had been drinking together, had a “good time” (they fucked) and then the woman fell asleep.
But when he couldn’t rouse the slumbering woman, he called police, according to a Waukesha Police Department report.
Apparently, this lady just had sleep apnea and was just fine. The cops suggested he sleep on the couch instead of getting the law involved, ya know, the next time he decides to bring a bitch with sleep apnea home.
There are definitely some odd family photos are there, but these are some of the very best that focus on the father. I am so thankful my dad never attempted any of these.
The fact that Brazil even has a Testicular Cancer Mascot is already pretty strange, but for it to be a disgustingly realistic (minus the face) pair of balls, is fucking creepy.
A Brazilian Testicular Cancer Awareness group is responsible for forcing people to come face to balls with “Senhor Testiculo”.
Christie Harris will be spending 25 years in prison after attempting to hide a loaded gun in her vagina and large quantities of methamphetamine in her butt. The young woman, from Ada, Oklahoma, pleaded no contest last week in regards to her charges, which included: methamphetamine possession with intent to distribute, gun possession by a convicted felon and bringing contraband into jail.
In fairness, she was probably hoping to take that gun out of her vagina before being taken into custody, but never got the chance.
Harris was arrested last March after a drug dog led the officers to her car, where they uncovered drug paraphernalia, meth and a semi-automatic pistol (which she apparently couldn’t fit due to her lack of compartments).
While in jail, Harris told the female officer she did not want to lower her underwear for a contraband search because “she was on her period,” according to a police report. She ended up complying, though, and the officer noticed “a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area.”
That item turned out to be a loaded 5-shot revolver.
“It would seem to be a very dangerous place to carry a loaded firearm,” Pontotoc County District Attorney Chris Ross told KFOR. ”If it goes off, it’s only going one place.”
I hope women start realizing that these items will be discovered and are dangerous to be putting into their orifices. Then again, it does provide me with some comedic reading.
Being optimistic and happy are two mottos that I usually attempt to live by. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the reality. Without sadness, depression, feelings of worthlessness, etc., one wouldn’t grasp how great the rest of life truly is. Like I said, I try my hardest to be positive and not stress the small stuff, but some days that is harder than others.
I have a good job, I’m engaged and planning a wedding, I own my home, I have 3 awesome dogs, my friends and family are amazing, we’re keeping up with our bills (the most stressful thing ever ha), yet, I’m having difficulty shaking this crappy ass mood of mine. I feel unfulfilled and can’t pin down what it is that’s making me feel this way. Regardless, I wouldn’t want to be around me like this (that’s a lie, I’m still awesome), and therefore, I must do something.
Instead of letting this mood take me over, and just accepting that this is how I feel, I WILL do something about it. No, I’m not going to cry in the bathroom stall (again) or anything absolutely fucking insane, but maybe something as simple as working out? Granted, I should be doing this anyway, but it might be a nice idea to get my mind focused on something else. I might also be in a better mood if I were smoking hot. So, yes, this definitely needs to happen.
GETTING INTO SHAPE, GETTING SMOKING HOT AND KILLING THIS DEPRESSION STARTS… NOW!
This video is great. There is no way I would be able to hold my tongue if this jerk off was screaming at me like this.
YouTube - After forcing the truck to hit his car because of slamming on his brakes numerous times, the truck hits his car. Minor scratches to his car, the truck needs a new bumper and grill. Road rage much? He purposely forced an accident and gets out of his car and starts doing this. A real motivated Sgt disrespecting a fellow Marine who is in a wheelchair and the driver who is a civilian.At the End of the video you see him place his hands on the trunk, well that is because the MP’s pulled up and arrested him.
In a few short weeks, a huge group of ladies from my family are going to be headed to Las Vegas, NV. This is by far one of my favorite places to visit, and although many girls look forward to the clubs and shows, I myself, am ecstatic to be able to go gambling in the city of sin. In fact, I love gambling so much, that when I’m not able to make it out to Vegas, I like to go by partybingo.com (seriously, great place to check out if you’re a fan of gambling). The only thing missing from the site that Vegas has, are the free drinks that I fully take advantage of ha. Although, once I’ve been in Vegas for only a couple of days, I’m eager to get back to the simplicity of gambling online, and no cigarette smell or hangovers to deal with. Ha
Another reason that I am impatiently awaiting this vacation is because I love to do my prat falls (see my fall below) in Vegas and share with the many tourists from various locations what I consider to be a great gift: laughing at others when something unexpected and painful happens. There’s nothing like falling in front of drunk people, they can’t help but find it hilarious. Seriously, consider most of the pranks you see on YouTube, Break, etc. Most of the people are drunk while pulling pranks on their buddies, because for some reason, they seem to be the best victims and you have no inhibitions while drunk. Clearly, the perfect combination.
We will be staying Friday and Saturday night and the group of girls includes my beautiful fiancée, Megan, my mother, my sister-in-law, my Aunt, My mom’s cousin and both of her daughters, one of which is turning 30-years-old and has never been to the desert paradise. I expect there will be much more to write about after this trip as opposed to prior. Until then, I’ll practice my gambling to ensure I win the big money this time