Category Archives: Alcohol
Thumbs Up Mug Shot
I have to admit that I am pretty damn envious of this little bitch. First of all, she put up one hell of a fight during her arrest and then to top it off, she looked happy as hell in her mug shot. When I was arrested for my DUI (blessing is disguise), I pulled the typical ‘cry and beg’ act and acted like quite the pussy. I was also far less drunk than the woman in the above mug shot and felt that if I refused to be happy in my photo, I had somehow showed them. Wrong. Very wrong.
Michelle Watson, 24, had a rather intriguing Thursday night and I’m here to share with you her story. After getting ridiculously hammered, Watson decided it would be a good idea to hop into her Honda Civic and drive herself home.
According to cops in Prescott, Arizona, this young, drunk, woman had a large list of problems that led to her arrest; She allegedly:
* Hit “numerous curbs” and drove on the sidewalk
* Said, “I don’t have to walk fucking anywhere” when approached by a cop
* Shoved an officer after declining to take field sobriety tests
* Had to be taken to the ground while scuffling with a cop
* Kneed a second officer in the crotch while being handcuffed
* Repeatedly cursed at police
* Kicked the inside of a squad car
While taking her booking photo at the Yavapai County Jail, she was ballsy enough to give them one last ‘Fuck You’ and smiled like her life depended on it. She also threw up the double thumbs which made it seem as though she was thrilled with her accomplishments for that evening. And shockingly her blood alcohol level was THREE times the legal limit. Something tells me she’s familiar with getting plastered and driving a vehicle.
As detailed in a Prescott Police Department report, Watson was charged with aggravated assault on a cop, resisting arrest, and “DUI-super extreme.”
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- Mug Shot of the Day: Bonnie Pointer’s Drug Bust Snarl (eonline.com)
- Drunk woman knees cop in groin and smiles for epic mug shot [Daily DUI] (jalopnik.com)
- Michael vs. Lindsay: Lohan Mug Shot Showdown! (thehollywoodgossip.com)
[VIDEO] Man Trains Dog To Fetch Vodka: Most Practical Trick, Yet
I’m sure you’ve all seen those videos of dogs who can go get the newspaper, throw things away, etc., but there is nothing like a dog who can go and fetch you liquor. Think about it; When you’re too drunk to get off your lazy ass and go make yourself another drink, this would most definitely come in handy. We should all take something away from this and start training our animals to do practical tricks as opposed to that other shit that helps no one and just proves you have too much time on your hands.
Image via Wikipedia
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[VIDEO] Courtney Love Freaks Out On Stage Over Kurt Cobain Photo
Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain obviously had their issues, but I’m still confused as to why she’s bitching about it to this day. Get off the drugs and deal with your fucking issues because most people are already sick of hearing you whine. The people who attended this “concert” were most likely bored and felt like getting out of the house. And what’s better than seeing Courtney Love, former wife of Kurt Cobain? See that. It’s still Kurt they respect and/or care about, not you.
Cover of Kurt Cobain
She also digresses and talks about how she has to “deal” with his kid. That’s rather harsh, mom. And did you see that she appears to be disappearing? Where the fuck did her meat go? She’s all skin and bones. And I really hope she was wasted, otherwise she’s just a mess of an individual.
Related articles
- Courtney Love Goes Topless, Storms Offstage, Disses Dave Grohl in Brazil (spinner.com)
- Courtney Love Flips Out Onstage Over Cobain Poster (spin.com)
- Courtney Love gets naked on stage after stripping off during Sao Paulo festival (mirror.co.uk)
- Is Frances Bean Cobain Engaged? (huffingtonpost.com)
Usually People Get Pissed That McDonald’s ISN’T Serving Breakfast…
Have you ever gotten up a little late on a morning after a night of heavy drinking? The only thing your mouth is watering for is Mickey D’s breakfast; Unfortunately, your drunk ass woke up too late and had to order off their lunch menu because you’re too sick to really go anywhere else.
Well, this woman went ape shit crazy after discovering that because it was 3:00am they were now only serving breakfast. She, unlike most drunken people, wanted those greasy fries and a hearty burger, but she was told that could not be done.
Shanaya Edgell, 22, began to act viciously when the food of her choice was not available.
(She) turned on her boyfriend, biting him on the lip and tearing off his shirt. At some point during her meltdown, Edgell climbed atop the roof of her 40-year-old beau’s car and launched into a loud diatribe about McDonald’s.
She was arrested for disorderly conduct and will now have a story about being so pissed about the McDonald’s breakfast controversy, that she was arrested. I must say I understand though, because it truly is disheartening when you have your mind-set on a particular fast food order, only to find out your need can’t be fulfilled.
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- McDonald’s Biggest Customer: Not the Poor, the Middle Class (neatorama.com)
- Teen charged with raping child at Ohio McDonald’s (sfgate.com)
Teacher Packs 2 Beers And Plum In Lunchbox Before Crashing Her Car In School Lot
A teacher from Lee County was apparently under the influence when she had a minor crash in the parking lot of the Dunbar Middle School where she was currently employed. Christine Murgueytio was driving her white Kia when she hit another car that was parked in the school lot.
The SRO told deputies that Murgueytio might have been impaired because an eyewitness had said that she was stumbling and that her speech was “thick tongued.”
Ms. Murgueytio had told police that she was seemingly intoxicated due to the Ambien that she had taken the night before. After being asked to do a field sobriety test, the teacher agreed but asked that she be taken to the back lot where co-workers and students wouldn’t see this happening. Unfortunately, she failed all four tests and was taken into custody based upon those results.
And as the deputy was gathering her things from her car, according to the arrest report, he found two beer cans in her lunch box next to some uneaten plums.
This drunken teacher has also provided a urine sample that was placed into evidence and has bailed out on bond. Fortunately, this teacher was caught doing something most Americans can understand, being drunk. Unlike most of her peers who are sleeping with students these days, she seems rather tame.
She was just trying to keep her buzz on at school, hence the beers in her lunchbox. She only brought two, which I believe should be taken into consideration. I mean, hell, if that was me, I would have brought an entire 12-pack and possibly parked on top of another vehicle as opposed to having a minor accident.
Although, we could also choose to believe that Ms.Murgueytio was attempting to give her students a life lesson in drinking and driving and the repercussions of your actions. And for that, I was to applaud her actions.
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[VIDEO] Man Attacks Stranger With Machete Inside A Restaurant And Caught On Camera
WARNING: Graphic Content
New Jersey cops were trying to find three suspects who attacked innocent bystanders the other night, and had to ultimately use FaceBook to assist them in finding their suspects. The three men were caught on camera attacking two different men at a chicken shack back in September.
Tyree Seegers, 22, turned himself in on Wednesday, just five days after the Paterson police department’s Cease Fire Unit posted surveillance video of the ruthless attacks on its Facebook page, CBS New York reported.
Police say he couldn’t hide after the footage went viral.
“We turned to Facebook for help,” Paterson Police Capt. Heriberto Rodriguez told CBS. “Seegers turned himself in because he felt all this pressure from everywhere.”
The other two suspects are Omar Villota, 22, and Johel Gomez, 20, who were seen int he video pistol-whipping the victim who is trying to flee the scene and avoid being targeted. Luckily Seegers only managed to hit the victim one time, and also maimed his own friend during this attack, almost severing his hand.
The fact that this incident occurred around 4am leads me to believe the three men were intoxicated, and it’s quite disturbing that this is what they choose to do on a night out. First of all, why the hell are you carrying around a goddamn machete? That’s not a weapon you use to protect yourself with, and certainly shouldn’t be operated by a drunk angry idiot like Seeger. Pathetic. Luckily, the victims weren’t too badly injured and survived this vicious attack.
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- Bail to remain at $2M for man charged in Paterson machete rampage (nj.com)
- Machete-wielding man in home invasion (heraldsun.com.au)
- Three men armed with machetes rob NSW club (news.theage.com.au)
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Man Tried To Light Fiance On Fire After She Refused Him Money For Alcohol
The 31-year-old man from Orlando, Florida, John Luther, was apparently pissed that his fiance refused him money for more alcohol, and decided he would seek revenge.
Mr. Luther poured gas onto his fiance’s head before setting the pillow she was sleeping upon, on fire. If he thought that she would for some reason change her mind by being set on fire, he was wrong.
His fiancée was able to escape being burned and 31-year-old Luther beat out the flames with his hands before storming out of the house to go drinking.
His fiancée then fell asleep on the couch, and was later woken by Luther when he returned, who told her their home was on fire and full of smoke.
After police had arrived on the scene, they became suspicious of the circumstances due to the fact that the female smelled of gasoline. The woman was instructed to say nothing by her fiance who just attempted to kill her, but fortunately, the police still arrested Luther on suspicion of arson.
The story seems like it would end here, but shortly after he was taken to the hospital to be treated for minor burns to his hands, he tried to escape…twice.
The first time he was found by a nurse who followed a trail of blood left by his IV line and the second time police found him waiting for a taxi outside the hospital emergency room.
Police charged Luther with attempted first-degree murder, arson of a dwelling, and violation of probation on a previous conviction in Lake County for trafficking in stolen property.
Court records show pasts arrests for domestic violence. Luther remains held without bail in the Orange County Jail.
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[VIDEO] 6,800 Bottles Of Wine Crash To The Floor After Shelves Collapse
A travesty has occurred at Superior Discount Liquors in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Wine fanatics, such as myself, might find this video troublesome to watch due to the large amount of wine that is now covering the floor in this large liquor store.
The shelf, 78ft long, suddenly became detached from the wall that it was anchored to, and the weight alone made it topple, bringing all of the bottles down as well. Although the managers at the store are claiming to be shocked and dumbfounded as to why this occurred, I would be willing to bet the fact that the shelves are 31 years old, was a contributing factor.
‘It just kept rolling away from the wall from front to back, and I was in disbelief. I didn’t know what to do or say. The whole thing only took 10 seconds,’ employee Peter Guske told a local ABC station.
Surprisingly, the employees got to cleaning up this sea of wine and didn’t even have to close down the store to do so. I wouldn’t want to risk staining my clothes and go into this store, I’d just stop by the local BevMo and get my wine. At least now they have a reason to order some new shelves.
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Man Steals Beer From Keg Truck And Thought He Was In Heaven
What does heaven look like? To a 46-year-old Deerfield man, it looks like a free beer truck.
The man apparently stumbled across a refrigerated beer trailer Tuesday used by the Schwaben Verein German heritage club and Grove Banquets in Buffalo Grove.
The trailer houses kegs connected to taps on the outside. Realizing he had nearly unlimited access cold beer, the man grabbed a nearby pitcher and began drinking.
At noon, staff at the banquet hall found him and called police. When police showed up, they found the man extremely intoxicated and called an ambulance, Buffalo Grove Deputy Chief Steve Husak said.
Before being sent to Northwest Community Hospital, he told police he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. He thought he had died and gone to heaven – a free beer truck, Husak said.
The man was not charged with public intoxication, nor did the Schwaben club press charges for theft.
Well done. I can honestly say that I would have done the same fucking thing. I mean, beer has become something of a commodity. The average American doesn’t have a job, or much less, a job that would afford them some delicious beer. So what do you do? Take from the truck that has too much. Thank God he was able to get completely fucking wasted before cops arrived. Now I can rest easy knowing he had a great time in jail.
Man Gets DUI IN Drive-Thru After Handing Over Taco As Proof Of Identification And Before Catching His Truck On Fire
Seriously? That may possibly be the longest title ever, but I sincerely believe that all of that needed to be included to show you how absolutely ridiculous this story is. I’m extremely tire and would like to go to bed, but feel I should probably discuss the man who may have had the most amazing arrest and DUI of all time.
Matthew Falkner, 30, should have had enough common sense to know that when you hand over a taco and the police are expecting you ID, they’re going to be fully aware of how fucking drunk you are. I don’t even know how the hell you made sense of that, even while wasted… and I have been extremely fucking hammered.
Unfortunately Falkner happened to pass out in a public place, the Jensen Beach Taco Bell and then while he was blacked out, in his car, sitting in a drive thru, completely wasted…his car caught on fire. Seriously.
The greatest part is it was this dumb asses FOURTH meal after downing some beers. The manager had to call the police shortly after giving Falkner his taco because he was holding up customers behind him while snoozing, taco in hand.
A deputy awoke Falkner and then asked for his ID. Falkner said no before reaching into his bag and presenting the officer with a taco. Another deputy clarified they were asking for an ID, not a taco. Falkner chuckled and began eating the taco.
Then deputies noticed Falkner had fallen asleep with his foot on the accelerator while his truck was in park. The engine had caught fire, and fire extinguishers were used to put it out.
Falkner’s blood alcohol content was between .227 and .225, according to a breath test. That’s three times the legal limit. He was hauled off to jail on DUI charges.
Thank goodness he at least got to enjoy his taco before going to jail and eating those nasty ass bologna with dry ass bread and cheap cheese. I spent one night in jail and was so hungry. Luckily Mr. Falkner had 4 meals before his little vacay with awful catering.
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