Being gay is something that is difficult to come to terms with, especially for young children who are easily influenced by the people around them. As I was growing up, I remember thinking to myself in bed that I was a lesbian and trying to convince myself to let those words escape me: I am gay. The first time I was able to say that out loud, I cried and remembered thinking to myself ‘Okay, this is going to be okay…I’ll just deal with it in college.’ This become harder everyday by the way because I was a high school girl who wanted to go out and date and have fun.

(Sidenote: This is why many gay people are such big partiers so much later in life, in my opinion. All os us who were unable to have a normal high school experience, come out, discover many gay friends and act like we’re back in high school all over again but this time with friends, parties, and good times when we don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not.)

The high school I went to was the high school my father and his brothers attended. The town I came from was small and everyone knew most everyone that resided there. I couldn’t possibly imagine telling the people I considered my friends that I was a lesbian; I had heard the things that they said that convinced me of how they would react. The term ‘gay’ has often been used to imply ‘stupid’ or ‘uncool’ and I even used that terminology. Many people who say this do not have a disdain for homosexuals, but it is formatted into our generations vocabulary, and that alone, intimidates gay youth to express themselves freely without the fear of being judged.

Another influence in my life was a guy at my school who dressed like a girl, or rather, more feminine from time to time. I, too, made jokes about this man and to this day am ashamed that I wanted so badly to fit in and hide beneath the persona that I created for myself, that I belittled someone for being different.

Gay youth all over the country are dealing with this everyday. Those that are unable to hide behind anything because of who they are naturally have it ten times harder. But this shouldn’t be the case. No one should have to hide who they are in the hopes of straying people away from bullying them. Friends are a huge part of growing up and developing character, and when we’re unable to be honest with them, we feel more alone than ever.

Yes, gay rights in this country have come tremendously far and I am so happy to be living in this day and age and witnessing such compassion, kindness and understanding. Unfortunately though, there are still many people who are suffering and feel they are trapped in either situation, and rightfully so. Bullying needs to come to an end and feminism in males and masculinity in females needs to stop being condemned. These kids are learning too young that who they are is wrong. The problem with that is they are perfectly fine, in fact, great and courageous people that deserve to live a life of happiness and experience. Don’t take that away from anyone; It’s not yours to take.

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