There have definitely been some times when I’ve really wished I could just throw a 24-case of beer in between my thighs and waltz out of there as if nothing ever happened. Unfortunately, my thighs are just not that strong. I also don’t think I should be drinking something when I can’t even afford it.
And lastly, why the hell would you be doing this in front of your child? Obviously, your past the point of no return, but her?! She’s young, impressionable, and I would think you’d like her to not end up in jail for crimes, such as: stealing beer. But kudos to her for making it out of the store without someone recognizing that she had 24 cans of Guinness up her skirt. I mean, that’s fucking impressive.