A Toilet Motorcycle That Literally Runs On Shit

Japan has some of the most outrageous inventions I have ever heard of, but this one is just fucking weird. Who in the world is going to drive around with their pants down, ingesting foods that intentionally make them unload their bowels just to get to a friend’s house or work? Granted, I would probably do this because although food does cost money, much like gas, I enjoy eating, whereas I gain nothing from buying gas. I would need to adjust to driving around half-naked though, that’s for sure.

Japan’s number one toilet maker TOTO has created a toilet-motorcycle hybrid vehicle that runs entirely on biogas (read: human waste). Theoretically, as long as the driver continues to eat and drink, the motorcycle could run forever! Dubbed the Toilet Bike Neo Project, the campaign is part of the TOTO Green Challenge, the company’s stated goal of achieving 50% reductions in CO2 emissions in bathrooms by 2017 (vs 1990 levels).

Okay, the fact that this is a Green project may also help this shit box take over. Here in los Angeles, I’d be willing to bet it’d be a huge hit. Although it may be better for people in Hollywood if they made this thing run on vomit. You would have a ton of half-naked, bulimic models running the streets happy as all hell they could eat whatever the fuck they wanted and unload it in their motorcycle just to get them to their next “go-see”.

In just 6 days the highly anticipated toilet motorcycle will take off on a month-long journey from Kyushu to Tokyo, making stops along the way to show off their new innovation and to educate people on the various green initiatives that TOTO is undertaking. For the last couple days the TOTO blog has been teasing us with renderings and even a blurred out image of the actual toilet motorcycle. But today – finally! – they have revealed their innovation in full form. Behold: Toilet Bike Neo!

Toilet Bike Neo is also equipped with some other cool functions. It uses residual light imagery to write messages in the air as it zooms by (you can see an example by scrolling down to their Sep 26 blog entry). It can also play music to entertain spectators. Finally, the toilet actually talks. This is a technology that TOTO has been equipping many of their new toilets with. For a complete archive of all the new toilet technology, take a look at these fascinating videos, which include fortune-telling, stock-quote-reading, weather-forecasting toilets.

This is definitely a better technological creation to have been introduced than the iPhone 4S. Sure, the iPhone can talk, but it also uses a lithium battery while this uses the free shit you’re guaranteed to dump, no matter what. Speaking toilet that runs on feces? 1 point. iPhone 4S? None.


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3 Responses to A Toilet Motorcycle That Literally Runs On Shit

  1. Eduardo says:

    You need to work on spelling. When you use “through” for “threw” and “due” for “do”, well, you need to focus, check your spelling and re-read before posting. Sitting “in front of the television, eating fatty foods and drinking wine” are obviously NOT helping your mind.

    • admin says:

      Actually Eduardo, those activities are things I enjoy doing after a 10 hour workday. I have a full time career as well as maintain a blog, and yes, sometimes my spelling is inaccurate, but you can get the point from what I have written. In fact, in this article specifically “due” was an auto correction. My spelling errors are few and far between and are human error. I’m sure you are not always the most precise at all times, so please don’t be so harsh. Were these inconsistencies distracting from the article itself? I highly doubt so. Managing a blog and trying to post multiple articles a day with a career is rather difficult, but luckily most who follow practikel are understanding. Thanks for reading!

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